Um...why do I keep moving?

Whatever your name for it is…its absolutely huge.

The Big Apple. Gotham City, the city that never sleeps, etc. We moved to Manhattan 10 days ago, after a cross country drive (another blog for another time). We are in temporary housing in a furnished apartment in Battery Park city. You won’t find it on any old maps as the building I am currently writing this in stands was built on land fill from the construction of the world trade centers and a few other buildings. Its nice, I see the Statue of Liberty every day on my walk to the subway.

The subway is amazing. If you can read a map, you can get pretty much anywhere in New York on the subway. Every morning I get on and marvel at the new cast of subway characters I get to ride with for the following 20 minutes. I have to stick out…blonde and smiling business guy.

Yeah…I moved again. We average a move a year…good times. How else will you see the world? On to a different front-

um  /ʌm, ʌ̃, əm, ə̃/ [uhm, uhn, uhm, uhn]
–interjection (used as an expression of doubt, hesitation, deliberation, interest, etc.)

Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.

The use of the word “Um” in speech. Have you ever listened to someone and noticed that they said um a lot? I know personally that I have an internal “Um” meter that impacts my impressions of people. Think of it this way, the amount of intelligence I believe you have could be shown to be inversely proportional to the amount of times you use the word “um” in a ten minute conversation. Now I wouldn’t want you to believe that I think that people that use the um word a lot are not smart, in fact, I have seen brilliant people use it constantly.

My issue is that I am an ADD guy. Short attention span…hey look at the shiny light!

(1 hour later)

Back to the blog…oh yeah. Its really hard for me to follow an um user. I check out, I can’t stay focused. However, I have noticed that deliberate and strong speakers keep my attention. They don’t allow me any signals to break away from the conversation until they want me to. If you have run across seasoned speakers or incredible professionals, you know what I mean. When I speak in front of groups, I try to emulate this. Rather than say um, I’ll leave it silent. Nothing makes people listen harder than a brief moment of silence. You have them…

So try not to say um. If you do say um, feel free to pause in the conversation to grab my attention back!

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER!

The cure for too much happiness...

This is good one. I was watching the NCAA tourney this morning while listening to some music my brother gave me when I was in town visiting. I had a Jack Johnson song going and the I-tunes "genius" was recommending different albums, artists, etc. So I glanced at them and didn't think much more about it. Then something hits me and I look back and actually comprehend the album this is suggesting:

Funeral: Songs of Mourning

hmmmmmm. Ok, lets check this out. First song- Tears in Heaven...(no way...) up next- I'll be missing you (P diddy- this made me laugh), Landslide (fleetwood mac), Boys to Men, the freakin Titanic theme...it went on and on. As I read the rest of the songs, it hit me that these were really, really depressing songs. Any one of them by itself would be a song in a mix that would briefly calm the party down, or take a smile off your face during your forced contemplation of the big picture. However, combined together in one long depression I-tunes mix, and you have Suicide Music- music to die to. I listened to the short clips of about 8 songs, the grimace on my face growing with every passing awful note.

Seriously, who would listen to all this at once, or even worse, bring this crap to a funeral. Could you imagine? Then it got worse. I suddenly noticed that the list was only just beginning, there were two other tabs of depressing tracks. You can imagine the smile on my face as I thought of the irony of the title of the third set list of songs "Deep Cuts"...are you kidding me?

If anyone ever tried to listen to all these songs without a break they would never make it. 99% chance they would brain themselves with the nearest blunt object before the reached the last song. And waiting for the last 1% happy enough to have survived the first 66 songs (notice the irony here), is a gem titled, "holes in the floor of heaven". This isn't a nudge off of a window ledge, its a shove.

Here are the words in a thirty second clip:

there's holes in the floor of heaven....

and her tears are pouring down....

that's how you know shes watching...

wishing she could be around...

but sometimes if you re lonely...

just remember she can...(end of clip)

oops, sorry, just went and threw myself down a staircase...(in my head of course). I don't know if its a mom (probably given its a country singer) or a sister/wife/girlfriend, but the premise is that the rain falling on the person this song is being sung to, are really the tears of his dead (insert loved one here). AAAAGHHHHH!!!

67 songs...probably about 2 and a half hours of music. As a musician I can't tell you how much this disturbs me. For me, music has always been a channel to purge a bad mood, get rid of negative energy and bring myself to a place where I am able to think clearly. Seeing a list of music designed specifically to depress a person to the brink of insanity kills me. This is so not what music is about. Even the most angry, depressed heavy metal I have listened to doesn't come close to this...seriously.

Maybe I am too harsh or just set in my ways (maybe one of you would have this as your playlist in your car), but besides music of hate, this is the worst perversion of music I have seen in a long time.

Ugh...I'm gonna go listen to some Jack Johnson or better year, some Bob Marley..."Is this love? Is this love? Is this love? Is this love than I'm feeling?"

feeling better already....

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER!

the Jacobson radical- Brown's theory # 16

"within the process of truly understanding yourself is the need for realization of your constant failure to do just that" - Chris "The Reverend" Brown

In a quest to see how much or little I knew of the world, I selected 5 random pages from Wikipedia.

Here they are:

-The Jacobson radical

-Journal of Pan African Studies

-Greater Hooked Squid
-St. Maria ad Gradus

-Harlan Lane

I profess to know nothing of these topics, but I think I have a pretty good feel for maybe what they could be. Below, I'll show the Wikipedia description, then I'll translate to local Vancouver dialect (i.e. how you explain it at a loud gathering of many people ingesting barbeque and beer).

-The Jacobson radical
In ring theory, a branch of abstract algebra, the Jacobson radical of a ring R is an ideal of R which contains those elements of R which in a sense are "close to zero".

CB: This is rain man math.

-Journal of Pan African Studies

The Journal of Pan African Studies is a free online trans-disciplinary peer reviewed scholarly journal devoted to an Africological synthesis of African world community studies and research since 1987 that works to ask questions and seek answers to critical contemporary and historical issues, based on an affirmative African centered logic and language of liberation.
The journal is published four times a year (March, June, September, December), with occasional supplemental special and guest editor issues.

CB: This is a group that discusses African issues, etc. A quite from their article I read regarding using local languages and English "How else can we begin to decolonize the mind from the halls of Europe, which already directly or subliminally influence the consciousness of too many people on the planet?"

huh?

Shame on me...I had become so used to thinking the world hates my country, that i am surprised to be reminded that isn't necessarily the case.

-Greater Hooked Squid

The Greater Hooked Squid (Moroteuthis ingens) is a species of squid in the family Onychoteuthidae. They occur worldwide in subantartic oceans.

CB: squid that grow up to 3 feet that end up being King Penguin food...my son loves King Penguins (and therefore, I am fond of them as well).

-St. Maria ad Gradus

St. Maria ad Gradus ("Our Lady of the Steps", also colloquially called Mariengraden in German language) is the name of a former church located East of the Cathedral of Cologne, Germany, situated between the cathedral and the Rhine.

CB: this church has been wiped off the map, due to the French, and due to other churches needing more parking...(in a sense).

-Harlan Lane

Harlan Lane is a professor of psychology and linguistics at Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts, in the United States. He specializes in research on Deaf culture and sign language. In 1991, Professor Lane received a MacArthur Foundation "genius award". He has become an often controversial spokesman for the Deaf community and critic of cochlear implants.

CB: this guy obtained his doctorate in linguistics the year I was born. His list of awards is incredible, his list of publications even more so.

Interesting, not sure if it was a good use of time, but I learned a bit and I still have kept my goal of updating my blog for a year. If you get bored, try it out.

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER!!!!

http://www.jpanafrican.com/docs/vol2no8/2.8_Editorial.pdf

Mr. Brown's bucket list- Age 35

I mentioned in a previous blog my bucket list. I have the attention span of a gnat, so its good for me to make lists. This one has been more therapeutic than I had thought, and the more time that passes since I put this together (last summer), the more I think everyone should do this. Its a very accountant approach to "have a life plan", but at the same time, I think you should have a strategy to challenge yourself to not be complacent and experience the life you have.

Having just returned from Puerto Vallarta, I just knocked off #58 from my list, swim with the dolphins. All I can say is, put it on your list!!! Awesome time, got to do a belly swim with a dolphin around a huge tank, hugs, a dolphin kiss, etc. My daughter loved it and I left with an experience I will never forget.

My most vivid memory will be the belly ride, I was very concerned I was going to catch a tail in the groin. After watching our dolphin jump about 15 feet into the air, the power of the dolphin tail was not lost on me. Needless to say, I was smiling, but my primary concern at the time this picture was taken was catching an epic nut shot that the Jackass crew would cringe at. Fortunately for me, my jewels did not get whacked and I got to leave with a great memory of spending a short amount of time with a very intelligent and sweet animal (my kid), and the dolphin was a lot of fun too!

When I made the bucket list, I gave myself some credit for some of the things I have been able to do so far in my journey through life (disclaimer: I am not super optimist/always happy guy-at times I have thought life was less of a journey and more of a series of broken new year's resolutions that I am doomed to continue to repeat and break).

Anyway, here is the part of my bucket list that is not in the bucket, things I want to do, some which seem impossible for me right now (see #23...ugh).

The rest of the bucket:

1.Race a season on a NASCAR circuit
2.Play in the world series of poker
3.Raft the grand canyon
4.Run with the bulls in Spain
5.Lounge in a vineyard in Tuscany
6.Stay in a glass bottom hut in Tahiti
7.Do the zip-line tours in Costa Rica
8.Visit the Mayan Ruins
9.Play a round of golf at Torrey Pines
10.Oktoberfest in Deutschland
11.Visit The Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam, Holland
12.Tour New Zealand
13.Visit Australia
14.Go to PGA Golf School and get my handicap to single digits
15.Write a book
16.Make a rock video for one of my songs
17.See the Mona Lisa in the Louvre
18.Kiss my love on the Eifel Tower
19.Learn a dance for weddings and parties
20.Ride a gondola in Venice
21.Attend Mass at the Vatican
22.Hang in Napa valley and drink wine while touring in a limo
23.Run a marathon
24.Experience weightlessness
25.Go scuba diving
26.White water rafting on the Rogue River
27.Go on safari in Africa
28.See the northern lights while on a fishing trip in Alaska
29.Mardi Gras in New Orleans
30.Carnival in Brazil
31.Play a round of golf at St. Andrews
32.See The Basilica di San Marco, Venice
33.See St. Peter's Basilica, the Vatican, Rome
34.See The Acropolis in Greece
35.See the Alhambra in Spain
36.See the Statues of Easter Island, Chile
37.See Hagia Sophia, Turkey
38.See Kiyomizu Temple in Japan
39.See The Kremlin in Russia
40.See The Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
41.Visit Stonehenge, United Kingdom
42.Visit The Sydney Opera House, Australia
43.Visit The Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament, London England
44.Visit Athens, Greece
45.Visit Buenos Aires, Argentina
46.Visit the 7 wonders of the world including: #1 Machu Picchu, Peru
47.# 2- The Coliseum in Rome
48.# 3- Petra, Jordan
49.# 4- Christ Redeemer, Brazil
50.# 5- The Great Wall of China
51.# 6- Chichen Itza, Mexico
52.# 7- The Taj Mahal, India
53.Visit all 50 states
54.Take up photography
55.Make a homebrew of wine or beer
56.Restore a classic car (most likely a 1964 impala)
57.Get an MBA
59.Start a Blog and maintain it for at least a year
60.Do a fantasy baseball camp Go Cubs!
61.Grow a beard- no shaving for two months
62.See a baseball game in Fenway park
63.Do a long hike in Kauai to a secluded beach
64.Sail in the San Juan’s
65.Be a cowboy for a week
66.Visit Puerto Rico
67.Ride a camel
68.Do a multi-day backpacking trip in Yosemite
69.Attend the burning man festival
70.Drive a Porsche coast to coast
71.Lounge on the beach in Zihuatanejo, Mexico
72.Attend the super bowl
73.Attend a world series game
74.Climb mt. Kilamanjaro
75.Visit Fiji and eat Fijian BBQ
76.Attend a Luau in Hawaii
77.Live abroad for at least a year
78.Ride a train across India
79.Visit the luxury of Dubai
80.Sunbathe on a beach in Thailand
81.Visit Jerusalem
82.Attend the South by Southwest music festival in Austin Texas
83.See the Amazon rainforest
84.Travel with the Husky Football team in an RV for one season

In the bucket- Got these done so far!!!
58. Swim with the Dolphins
85. Run in the world’s longest relay race (Mt. Hood to Seaside)
86. Play a rock show in Hollywood (the Key Club!)
87. Run the lights at the Viper room in Hollywood (for a band dressed like Ninjas)
88. Attend a Hollywood party with celebrities (Paris Hilton, Dicaprio)
89. Become an ordained minister and officiate a wedding (two down now, they say I could make a living doing it!)
90. Play trumpet with Doc Severinsen (back when I played trumpet instead of guitar)
91. Raft the Deschutes (ahh yeah!)
92. Attend the US Open and watched Tiger Woods fist pump during a victory with a broken leg
93. Hang out in the blues bars in Chicago (if you haven't done this and love music at all, you have to go)
94. See a baseball game at Wrigley field (right behind the dugout baby!)
95. Go deep sea fishing and catch a big one!
96. Operate a nuclear reactor
97. See a baseball game in Dodgers Stadium right behind the dugout (I am jealous of Nomar, how could you not be???)
98. Write and produce a rock album (I have about 5 more albums written but need the time and $ to get them radio ready, anyone want to sign me?)
99. Lead 78,000 people in a cheer (as captain of the cheer squad, I was the annoying guy with the microphone, go Huskies!!!!)
100. Marry the love of my life (we'll see if she stays with me...heh heh).


By the way, as you can see #59 is start and maintain a blog...I told myself I need to do this a year before I cross it out. So far, I like doing the blog, the simple rules of keeping my work and daily life out of it have helped to remind me of who I am, not what I do.


You only get one chance at this, make the most of it. And most of all...

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER!

Kristin- Rest in Peace

My long-time friend Krisin recently passed away after a fight with cancer. We were friends through junior high and high school, and partied very hard together in our early college years. I have lots of fun stories about Kristin, but its safe to say that she was one of the most alive and fun people I have had the pleasure to know. She leaves behind a beautiful family, and I will alway think fondly of her. God Bless you Kristin!

Kristin M. HAUGEN Age 35, beloved wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend, succumbed to breast cancer on January 2, 2009.We were inspired by her spirit and determination in her battle with cancer even as she dealt with one setback after another, taking each in stride, determined to resolve the current issue and deal with the next. Born in Seattle and raised in Vancouver, WA, Kristin graduated from Western Washington University in 1995, met Craig through mutual friends and married in July 1999. They settled in Seattle and started raising their family. Worked in the Audiology department at Seattle Children's Hospital. She also was an instructor at the YMCA for aerobics and pilates, teaching classes up until the last couple months of her life. Always athletically inclined, she and Craig did the S-T-P bike ride a few times, ran the full Seattle Marathon, Danksin triathlon, skied, hiked, taught her daughters the joys of the swimming pool, walked Green Lake frequently, as well as the ritual weekend walk to Starbucks. This fiery redhead had a contagious spirit for life, adored her family and friends. She joked about her cancer related conditions to ease the pain and stress on her loved ones. She took on the commitment to do all she could to battle cancer and raise funds and awareness for cancer fighting foundations. She participated in the annual run and The 3-Day Walk. Preceeded in death by father Jared. Survived by husband Craig, daughter Luci (4) and Ellie (1 ½), mother Pam, step-dad Bill Capps, brother Todd McPherron, sister-in-law Tami, nephew Keaton, and niece Emberlee. We would like to extend our heart felt thank you to the outpouring of support from friends, family, and even those we did not know. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart and we are never, ever the same. Services will be held Friday January 9th at 9:00 a.m. at St. Catherine of Siena Church, 814 NE 85th St., Seattle 98115. Reception following. In lieu of flowers, contributions in memory of Kristin can be made to the Seattle chapter of Gilda's Club, 1400 Broadway Seattle 98122 and also the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 1900 N. Northlake Way, Suite 135 Seattle 98103. https://www.gildasclubseattle.org/donate/index.php. Sign the online guestbook at http://www.legacy.com/

A letter to my daughter while she is away at sea...

We were asked to write a letter to our kids who are working on a merchant ship from the 1790's...they worked on the ship for a day. Riley did something with cargo...

December 12, 1796


Dearest Riley,

We hope this letter finds you well. We were going to send you some hard biscuits, but unfortunately, we ate them. We are still waiting for the money you were going to send us for your brother’s treatment, can you please expedite this as soon as possible? A scientist just invented an inoculation for small pox and Dr. Reed says that if we hurry, we could save him.

Your mother has been recently struck with a fever and has been waking up with delusions and in hysteria, saying something about women voting. Could you imagine? Hah! Anyway, Dr. Reed has put the leeches on her and they are sucking the fever out as I write.

Did I tell you I have new teeth? I won some money at a horse race and bought myself a new set of pine teeth. They go very nicely with my mahogany peg leg. Speaking of parrots, beware of pirates. I read in the paper that Algerian Pirates are taking American sailor’s captive and holding them for ransom. We can’t have you getting kidnapped before you send us the money to save your brother’s spleen.

Did I mention your brother now has polio? That, in addition to the smallpox, will require you to stay out and continue sailing for at least another year to pay these medical bills. At least he’ll be able to get into Harvard if he pulls through, his private tutor has been very happy with his progress. He says “Hello….Riley”


Your mother is worried that the election of John Adams as president is going to make everyone forget George Washington. I sure do hope they figure out some way to make sure he is never forgotten. Britain and France are at war again! It’s a good thing your grandfather retired from the British Navy, the war for our independence was enough for him. He despised the cold winters here and is happy and cozy in his manor back in London. He refuses to come visit us still, but who can blame him after how he was treated as a prisoner during the war.
Also, we have found you a husband. His name is Olaf and he has 11 fingers. He has built one room on your house and has already started a successful dung scooping business. What an entrepreneur! You will be rolling in it soon! As for your desire to go to school to further your education, your chores as a faithful and obedient wife will more than occupy your time. Your mother agrees.

Things at the farm are good, we had a tough storm a few weeks back but overall the livestock are faring well. We have a nice piggy we are fattening up for Christmas dinner. Your mom is going to bake her famous pie too! We are proud of you and wish you well. I have to go though, the lamp is running low on oil and I need to tend to your mother. Have fun on the ship!

Your loving father,

Chris

PS. We had to eat Fasbee, it’s been a tough winter. She was tasty though, a bit like chicken!

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER!!!

I've changed my mind, guns rule!

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. " -2nd amendment to the constitution

I often tell people when I talk about my family that I am the black sheep, as I am the only one not killing animals on a regular basis. My family is big on camping, hunting and fishing. The common denominator is that they are all packing heat. Everyone in my family has weapons (some crazy ones too). My grandpa had an arsenal...seriously. Over 20 guns for sure, some rare and unique, all of them nice. When he passed away, the guns were distributed to my uncles, my cousins and my brother. I got the Louis L'Amour collection, leather bound books by my favorite western author (the books are sitting in front of me now, I totally got the best deal, my grandpa is with me every day). The point being that I have always gone against the grain of my family when it comes to guns. I've had a few bad instances with them, and I just don't see the need for any civilian to own a machine gun. Period. So I have always been supportive of gun control. My brother always argues with me, but that is to be expected. My wife absolutely hates guns and has wanted nothing to do with them in our household.

Until today.

Crazy thing is, I was the same way, but on my way home I decided the events of the night before had caused me to have a change in heart.

I had a terrible headache (probably from the paint fumes I had been inhaling all day while painting the house) and decided to go to bed early (about 9pm). I went to sleep and my wife and daughter decided to have a sleepover in my daughters room (no school on Monday). I awoke to a loud bang and shaking sound. Kelly came running into my room, "Chris, someone is trying to get into the house!". whaaaahhhh??? Still really groggy, I grabbed a baseball bat and headed downstairs. Looking through the peephole I could see that the porch light was on, which meant someone was out there as our light is motion activated. I stepped out front and there was some dude...swaying back and forth in a drunken stupor in the middle of my driveway. After some not so kind words for him a brief exchange told me everything. Dude was wasted...so wasted he didn't realize that this wasn't his place (apparently he used to live at my house). Problem was, he was so hammered I couldn't get him to understand that he needed to go.

I told him I would call him a cab and went inside to grab my shoes, I turn around and the dude is in my entryway. At that point I grab him by the neck and throw him off my front porch. "Kelly, call the cops!". Kelly dials 911...and gets a message service (no kidding, a message service!). I give her my phone as I stared down dr. wasted who couldn't comprehend why I was not letting him in. After a second call she finally got through. I slammed the door in his face and we waited for the cops to show. They showed up about 4 minutes later, and the dude was still in my front yard. After a brief exchange I tell the police to just get rid of him and a while later they drove away.

About 5 minutes after the police arrived, Kelly's phone rang and it was 911, returning her call. Did you know that 911 doesn't always answer? Found that out last night...seriously.

Kelly found the guys wallet the next morning...crap. The address on his wallet was our address. She took the wallet down to the police station because she didn't want him showing up again. 15 minutes after dropping the wallet off, he shows up at the door. He was apologetic and said he didn't remember anything from the night before. He had pulled up in a corvette and asked Kelly if she remembered him having a watch on. Apparently, he lost $6,000 in cash and his Rolex. Kelly gave him a simple explanation that she was really focused on the fact that he was in her home, and not that he had a watch on. That and he needed to leave, and not return.

Our guess is the cab driver that dropped him off at our place (using the address on his license) fleeced the guy. After he left, Kelly called the police again to let them know he had come by looking for a substantial amount of cash and a lost watch. The police commented that he had returned to the police station, retrieved his wallet and told them the same thing. Now in Orange county, people definitely have money. According to our landlord, this guy has an OC girlfriend loaded to the gills. My father-in-law thinks he deals drugs (there were 23 police calls to our house from the previous tenants...young party guys). Regardless, now in the back of my mind I gotta worry about some wasted ass idiot thinking I have money that he lost in a drunken stupor. Anybody that knows me knows I am honest to a fault, and I really, really hate thieves. That being said, someone with limited faculties such as this idiot...who knows.

While I believe that this episode is over and is unusual for where I live (real crime is almost nonexistent here, there are soooo many police officers they keep a tight lid on things), it left me and my wife a bit in shock. While the odds of me needing to defend and protect my family are extremely low, the risk of not being able to do so if such a situation did occur is unacceptable. So, however, is having a gun that my kids can get access to. My son has ADD, and a nasty case of it too. A gun in the hands of a curious kid with a short attention span is disastrous. I know the effects of this all too well. Last year, the son of one of my very good friends here in OC was killed in a gun accident. He was 12 years old, found the gun at his mom's place in Oregon, and accidentally shot himself in the head. You read about this stuff, I watched it happen to a kid I knew, and a family that was a normal family. It tore his family up.

After considering it for a while, I have concluded that this is another one of life's dilemmas with no great answer. So....I'm gonna arm up. No B.S. tomorrow I am going to a gun store and I'm going to purchase a Mossberg pump action shotgun for the sole purpose of self defense. My hope is that this becomes the dusty, locked box in my room that is never opened or needed.

Be excellent to each other!